Accessibility Tools
Most suicidal thoughts are associated with underlying causes such as mental health issues (for example, depression), a trauma or difficult life events.
Psychological treatments can help, as can medication and support, or a combination of these. Remember people do get through this – even people who feel as badly as you feel now. Read more about what treatment and support is available for mental health issues.
Or contact SANE counselling support online or on 1800 187 263, Monday to Friday 10am-10 pm AEST/AEDT for support, information and referrals.
Some people develop safety plans to help them if they are feeling suicidal. If you haven’t developed a safety plan, you can create one yourself – or with a trusted friend, family member, or professional – using the Beyond Now webpage or app.
Let them know you are concerned
If possible, choose a good time and place to have a conversation, where you are both feeling calm and have plenty of time.
Tell them what you have noticed that makes you worried. This shows that you care, and that you are there to help.
You can also ask how they are going, but be prepared to follow up a “good” or “ok” with “How are you really? I want to know because I care”. Or, you can mention explicitly why you are concerned – like any warning signs you’ve noticed.
Ask if they are thinking about suicide
Ask the question directly; “Are you having thoughts about suicide?” This might feel uncomfortable, but a direct question encourages an honest answer.
Remember, talking about suicide will not make a person take their own life or put ideas in the head. It provides the opportunity for someone to say how they’re really going.
Listen
Listening without judgment can help reduce the shame they may feel about their suicidal thoughts.
Try to understand what led them to feel this way. Saying things like “That sounds really tough” can show that you are listening and trying to understand what they are going through.
Don’t jump straight into problem solving or convince them they shouldn’t have suicidal thoughts. This can feel dismissive.
Encourage them to get professional help
Tell them you understand they are in pain, but that there are options other than suicide.
Encourage them to make an appointment with a GP or a trusted mental health professional. They can take someone along for support if it helps.
You can also contact a mental health professional or employee assistance program, family member or friend on their behalf. Or, support them to make an appointment.
Professional helplines are also available to help:
If you are worried about their safety right now
Many people experience suicidal thoughts in passing. Most people who experience suicidal thoughts do not die by suicide. But if someone is in immediate danger, call 000.
Sometimes, your gut feeling tells you something is very wrong. But if you are unsure, signs someone might be unsafe include:
If possible, stay with them until emergency services arrive.
Helping someone keep safe
If they are not in immediate danger, but experiencing suicidal thoughts, there are things you can do to help them.
Many of these actions are best discussed with a mental health professional, but you can start these conversations, or check in.
Take care of yourself
It can be emotionally challenging to support someone who is suicidal, so it’s important you try to keep yourself healthy.
You are not alone. SANE has developed a tool for family and friends of people who have suicidal thoughts or have attempted suicide. Developed in partnership with friends and family who have been there too.
LEARN MORE
Suicide means not only a tragic loss of a life, but also great sadness and soul-searching by the family and friends and community of the person who has died. Over 3,300 Australians died by suicide in 2019 (AIHW, 2020). For every person who dies this way, it is estimated at least 20 more attempt suicide (ABS, 2009).
Death by suicide is highest for men aged 45-49 or 80-84 (AIHW, 2020). Men make up around three quarters of deaths by suicide, although attempted suicide is more common in women than men (AIHW, 2020).
Around 20% of Australians are affected by some form of mental health issue every year, yet many do not receive the treatment and support they need (ABS, 2008). The suicide rate among people with a mental health issue is at least seven times higher than the general population. It is one of the main causes of premature death in this group.
Many people who die by suicide have experienced a mental health issue. Often people who are considering suicide are dealing with a combination of mental ill-health and difficult life events. But with effective treatment, social support and time, many who have tried to end their life, or considered ending their life, can go on to live full and meaningful lives.
For people with a mental health issue, the distress caused by their experiences can be so great they may feel an overwhelming desire to end their life. People recently discharged from psychiatric care are at higher risk of suicide. Knowing someone who has recently died by suicide may also increase risk.
Suicide can also be related to distressing life events such as unemployment, relationship breakdown, being in debt or social isolation. Sometimes people feel like they are a burden to others and that loved ones would be better off without them. A suicide attempt may be an early sign of a mental health issue developing, so it is important to get help from a doctor. For someone with a mental health issue, the following may contribute to the risk of suicide:
Many people who attempt suicide have experienced major depression or bipolar disorder, and may experience very negative or self-critical thinking and periods of very low mood.
Related: Depression, Bipolar disorder
Some may attempt suicide because they are confused and distressed by hallucinations or delusions, or to bring ‘relief’ from untreated symptoms of psychosis.
Related: Psychosis
People with BPD may harm themselves or behave in a suicidal way. Some find self-harm helps them cope temporarily with intense, negative emotions.
Related: Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Harmful use of drugs (such as marijuana, heroin or amphetamines) and alcohol is closely related to suicidal behaviour.
Related: Cannabis & psychosis
Self-harm means any behaviour which involves the deliberate causing of pain or injury to oneself. Self-harm is usually a response to distress – often the distress associated with mental health issues or trauma. In the short-term, some people find that it provides temporary relief from the psychological distress they are experiencing. While people who self-harm do not necessarily mean to kill themselves, it often becomes a compulsive and dangerous activity, and requires careful professional help.
Related: Self-harm
With support and time, many people who have experienced suicidal thoughts or actions come to see things differently and live full lives. Visit Better Off With you to find real stories of people who have tried or considered ending their lives, and how they found their way through.
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
Lifeline (24-hour crisis telephone counselling) 13 11 14
Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467
Call 000 for urgent medical attention or police attendance
Contact SANE counselling support on 1800 187 263 or online, available Monday to Friday 10am-8pm AEST/AEDT.
Self-harm is often a response to feelings of extreme psychological distress or emotional pain. It may provide short-term relief from these feelings, but it doesn't allow the person to learn other ways of responding to the challenging emotions.
While people who self-harm may not intend to end their lives, the consequences of this behaviour can be serious, and it needs careful assessment and care by a health professional.
Self-harm is often a sign that the person needs support. It is very important to see a GP or other health professional for an assessment and diagnosis, and to discuss a treatment plan. Treating the underlying causes will help make a long-term difference to reducing and stopping the impulse to self-harm.
Treatment is likely to involve seeing a psychologist who is an expert in this area, and will know how to best help the person, as well as help them to help themselves.
It’s a good idea to prepare for seeing a doctor by talking to a trusted person about the self-harming behaviour. This might be a family member or friend, or a suitable person at school or work. It’s also helpful to request a longer appointment, so there is time to talk, and take along some simple notes – for example, detailing how long the self-harming has been going on, and any other feelings or events which may be associated with it.
Because self-harming behaviour is risky and possibly life-threatening, do not hesitate to call emergency services on 000 if necessary.
Related: How to help in a crisis
It can be hard for people who self-harm to stop it by themselves. That’s why it’s important to talk to someone and see a doctor. It can help to try alternatives to self-harm which can relieve distress in the short term. These include:
These are not solutions to self-harm but can be useful as short-term alternatives while receiving treatment, and should be discussed with the treating doctor or psychologist.
People who self-harm may be secretive or feel ashamed about their behaviour. It helps to talk calmly and non-judgmentally about your concerns.
If you need to speak with someone now, contact:
Call 000 for urgent medical attention or in an emergency.