There are some methods for communication you can try to encourage help seeking. One of the best things we can do if we’re concerned about someone is talk to them and encourage them to seek the support of health professionals.
Conversations like this are not always easy, however the approach and frequency can sometimes make the world of difference. Here are some strategies to make communicating your concerns easier and hopefully more effective.
Dedicate a conversation to your concerns
Choose a time and a place that is suitable for both of you. A time when you are both calm and the person is most likely to be receptive. Avoid a time when either of you have been drinking or are under the influence.
Plan what you are going to say
But prepare to be flexible. This can include preparing how to raise and discuss your concerns, while remaining open to hearing and responding respectfully to the thoughts and feelings of your loved one.
Do your homework about what services are available. Learning about community mental health resources – such as GPs, psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, clinics and hospitals – means you will have information readily available should they wish to seek help.
Speak in a calm, quiet voice
Try to avoid expressing any frustration that will interfere with the person’s ability to hear what you are saying. Avoid getting drawn into an argument, rather focus on practical help that is available.
Talk about changes and symptoms
Talking about a disorder can often feel stigmatising and prevent a person from engaging. Start the discussion by talking about how the person is feeling. Perhaps acknowledge changes in behavior such as, 'I’ve noticed you seem a bit down lately or preoccupied lately.' You could ask 'Is there anything you would like to talk about?' or enquire 'Can I help in any way?'
Stay calm and focussed
Focus on the issues your loved one acknowledges and suggest they get help for those. For example, seeking support for not sleeping rather than experiencing auditory hallucinations.
Remaining calm and supportive during this conversation will make it more likely that the person will be willing to talk in the future. Perhaps let your loved one know that while you are here to support them, you feel ill-equipped to provide sufficient support on your own, and that additional support from a professional might be helpful.
Don’t underestimate the power of listening
Listen to what the person has to say, rather than doing most of the talking. Sometimes, when a person wants to talk, they are not always seeking advice, but just need to talk about their concerns. Giving the person space to talk and letting them know that they have been heard is a valuable and supportive contribution.
Help if you can
Offer to make an appointment for them. You can even suggest that you or another relative or friend accompanies them.
Reasons why people may be reluctant to seek help
If the person is reluctant to acknowledge a problem or to speak with a mental health professional, consider clarifying their barriers to seeking help and consider ways to overcome them together.
Sometimes people don’t want to see a doctor because they feel frightened, anxious or angry. They may worry others are against them, or that they are being criticised. You can help by encouraging the person to think of the doctor as someone who can help and who will not judge them.
Some people may have trouble putting their thoughts together to explain their problems, they might be reluctant to talk about how they feel, or not realise they are ill. The symptoms of psychotic illnesses such as schizophrenia, for example, may involve delusions, hallucinations, and disturbance to thinking processes that can make it difficult for the person to realise or acknowledge they may have a mental illness and need help.
The person may also have stigmatising attitudes towards mental illness, which make it difficult to acknowledge the need for help. Or they may accept they have an illness, but not want to take medication, due to possible side-effects. It’s also possible that they don’t want to seek psychological therapy, or are already engaged in treatment and choose not to tell others. And sometimes a mental illness may not necessarily be present at all.
Continued reluctance to seek help
Remember that if at all possible, it is best for the person involved to voluntarily seek help.
Don’t worry if your first attempt to talk isn’t successful. An initial conversation may plant the seed of seeking help in the person’s mind. By showing that you care and are not going to judge them, they may be more likely to come to you if they do decide to seek help.
It may be after saying and doing all the ‘right’ things, your loved one is still unwilling to acknowledge the problem, seek treatment or share information with you. They may also attend a GP’s appointment to appease you, keep the peace, and not follow up any recommendations. Unfortunately, if this happens and the person is still showing reluctance to seek help, there may not be much more you can do. Keep encouraging them to speak with you if they need to.
Currently no services exist that can reach out to a person without their consent, unless they are an impending threat of harm to themselves or others. If you have concerns about the person’s safety, contact 000 or their local major hospital’s mental health unit.
For further information see, Understanding crisis and assessment teams.
